Wisecracks....they dont get any better than this!!

"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P) = Problem (S) = Solution

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious